Nothing meaningful today....have been in inexplicable good mood, and I can't get out of my boogie shoes. Right now, can't stop bopping to Offspring's newest, although it reminds me of a video game from the Eighties. Yesterday, it was Outkast. My cats are mewing at me, confused at my odd behavior (much like when I do yoga in the living room).

Ah, have cleansed self of sketchiness emanating from Pennywise concert. Not that that concert wasn't great--loved it, rocked out lots, and steered clear of nearly naked drunken fans and their scary BO. However, as we live, drama ensues...Mrs. R, ever in hope of finding a blip in her Red Fox radar, suddenly found herself in full sight of him, and clawed me repeatedly in anxious irrepressible excitement. Had to use bad tone to stop damage to my arm. Am really sorry, Mrs. R! For the rest of the night, pointedly ignored oompa loompa, while he steadily crept nearer to Mrs. R and Munkeigh, until Mrs. R could barely contain her single person mosh pit. Note: Red Fox is oblivious to drama, or is ignoring it. Sad, this drama over midget neanderthal, but hey, I once was bothered and bewildered (although not quite to this extent).

On a good note, was very happy to attract strange silent man in red that somehow made me feel safe from young punk ickiness (or maybe he felt safe with my crowd, hmmm, wish I had said something to him, though he was probably an infant). Also have ridden myself temporarily of violent urges with loud screaming angry youths.

Sadly, night ended with 2 sketchy events: (1) a Goldschlager-laced drink being dumped on me by aforementioned naked drunks right at the end of the concert and (2) my typical ability to draw in the ghetto drunkenness. Mr. Ghetto lacked gold teeth, but was leaning too near and too intently slurring that I was "hot" that I wondered if I had "skank ho" written across my butt. Did not know that my butt was that articulate. Need to have strong talk with butt and curb wrong messages sent out.

The moon is not full, it is but slightly waxing....am not a werewolf as originally thought.

And I have no explanation for my violent thoughts. I've been very tense today, a bit irritable and my mind keeps running off on tangents usually consisting of me being confronted by little shrew of a skank ho, and me kicking the crap out of her like a uncontrolled beast. Knocking down, stomping, chomping off bits of her nasty nose, and finishing with a good grabbing of her limp hair and spinning her around, launching her like a sack of rice into a nearby wall.

Sigh, I'm normally not this violent, but sometimes I get overwhelmed with people and their suckage, even though I can't pinpoint the direct cause. However, my pent-up rage is one reason girlies need to stop waving their fingers in front of people's faces. One day, they might just get a trouncing.

Ah, weekends are for catching up on sleep and sanity. After this hectic week and the knowledge of another week of the same coming up, I will now eat, veg, and watch the extended version of Two Towers. Maybe I'll catch another nap. Maybe I'll dream of blue sweatshirt guy again while I wander the aisles of Target aimlessly. I love life.

And now, some deep thoughts on relationships and jealousy (and his ex-wife) with T.G.:

"It starts off small and before you know it you don't have any friends and you are with someone who will never have enough of your attention to be satisfied."

Not that I'm completely anti-French like your regular idiot American who eats freedom fries...but this is pretty amusing.

The concise military history of France.

I appears I have a stalker...her name is Guido. I've only caught a glimpse, but I can sense the greasy and gold teethy aura. Feel famous a la Kevin Bacon.

Evil claimed does not evil make.

There are people who are wrongly and flippantly aligning themselves with evil. I would like to remind those insolent peons that they know not the troubles they bring upon themselves. Remember your master, bitches.

P.S. Aww, my kitty Giles is asleep after reassuring himself that I will not be leaving him. That's the problem with diabolical doings...no time for the kids.

Have unending joy in spreading of gratuitous violence in the world....or at least thoughts of it.

Newest episode from the high school suckage files:
In response to stupid confrontational tardy student--option #4. "Bitch!" (Beat with Chair) "Whore!" (Beat with Podium) "Retard!" (Beat with kid to whom she said "I can't believe she has the nerve to tell me I'm tardy) "Crap Ass Mother Fucker" (Slam her into the ground and kick kick kick kick kick!) I look around at the other students, who are quiet and staring, confused and concerned. I smile an evil smile."


What can I do but laugh maniacally. Bwahahahhaha!

Argh. When does the world suddenly flip and the parents are dependent upon the children? My dad has to suddenly leave for another country to be at a sick relative's deathbed, and I'm worrying more about him getting stuck or lost at a stopover, missing his plane, than relative's death or dad's possible malaria infection from 3rd world nation. Simple instructions are lost on the man. Next thing I know, I'll get a call from the Hartfield International Security that my father was arrested for assaulting a luggage checker, since they were going to hold him for bringing a loaded gun into an airport. I can't wait until I'm the inflexible old coot everyone has to cater to.

Goddamn it! Hormonal again and sending out magnetic pulses, it seems. Yellow lights galore and I almost set my cat on fire with the static spark that shot from my hand to his fur (I did spark his nose and he sneezed and looked sorrowfully at me). Well, might as well feed the fire:


DING DONG!!

I have tried too long to withhold evil thoughts and schemes...

After munkeigh's most recent blog, I realized that I have to accept my natural state of mayhem. I am evil. In addition, I want to be the best that I could be, so I want to be very very evil. But I was reminded to limit myself to that, since extremely evil me is "terrifying." Will not be proud of capability to inspire terror.

On a different note....YAY!!! My boys are back!



New album, new DVD, and revamped Blue! Oh, how can I control my excitement?!

Proof that blogging and bitchiness are not rocket science...welcome, blogger police! As the Hungarians would say, "Hagy segg'odik!"

Secret asian "sex machine" must have put the gun to her head, as we generally don't give a damn.

Oh, my ADD is really overwhelming today. Especially since I found on-line bubble wrap. Heeheeheehee....must have more!

My cephal is all spongy.....is it mad cow or excessive e-training? Hmmm.

After reading Mellie Bean's comment, I had an epiphany...my criteria should just be:

#1 He is not a son of a bitch.

That should be sufficient. :)

I wanted to see if I was overly picky in the men that I consider acceptable to date. So, in descending order:

My Criteria for a Good Man

#1 He is not currently married.
#2 He likes me.
#3 He is nice, considerate, and loyal.
#4 He is intelligent (not necessarily bookish, but can carry on a conversation).
#5 He is clean (as in not unbearably smelly and doesn't live in squalor).
#6 He is not a social pariah, criminal, drug user and/or alcoholic.
#7 He is approved by my friends and does not hate my friends.
#8 He is not scared to meet my family.
#9 He lives within 60 miles of me.
#10 He has a good job or is currently in search of one or has prospects in the near future for one.

Absolute write offs (aka Hell no!):
He must not have one or more gold teeth.
He must not call them "teef".


**Notice that I didn't list anything about looks, dress, height, and age. To me, they are not real factors in a relationship. The list is not that long, but you'd be surprised how few men pass all 10 (especially #2 and #3). In the end, I don't think I'm very picky, I just have very little to choose from. :)

I haven't felt bloggish in a while, but now that I can't speak (damned sore throat), I need to communicate from the isolation of my frigid house. For a bad night (Friday I think) I was filled with hatred that men can be all friendly and sweet and then disappear as if they never existed. I was bitter that Doc Wesley had stopped calling and writing so suddenly. He seemed genuinely nice, considerate, and we had fun together. Then, nothing. I guess he got tired of me, since I can't for the life of me figure out what I did wrong. I loathed men for their cowardice, asshole-ish ways, and general inability to treat women properly.

Later that night, I got a call from the coastie who I had written off from the start as a sweet, kinda immature meathead. He and I have an accepting sort of friendship--we're not scared of looking bad and psycho in front of each other, talk about anything and everything. He was calling all the way from Puerto Rico and, in one hour, reversed my previous nasty perception of men. I still think most men are scared little boys when it comes to confrontation and truth, but at least I have hope that there are nice communicative men out there who care, although they might not be that obvious from the start.

Have just discovered that I'm a hypochondriac. Damn WebMD. After coughing and whining for the last few days, I decided to check out some non-drug treatments on the internet and opened the gates to my doom. It all started so innocently. Two hours later, I had checked myself for the symptoms of asthma, pneumonia, flu, whooping cough, strep throat, migraine headaches, diabetes, ADHD, depression, bipolarity, schizophrenia, and autism. All the quizzes showed that I didn't have any of these diseases/disorders, although that may surprise many who read this blog. As with most psychological and medical diagnoses, the symptoms have to occur over a certain extended period of time. My question is: could there be a the possibility of having multiple disorders which have symptoms that occur, but get cancelled out over time? For example, can one be bipolar and have all the crazy upswings and deep lows, but be also ADHD or schizophrenic, which causes symptoms to fluctuate quickly so that they never last long enough for an official diagnosis? Hmmm.

And like always, I waste time pondering the ways of the world for naught. It is midnight, and I am still coughing.

Went on a date last night with Wesley lookalike crunchy granola pediatrician. Although the movie completely sucked, we laughed madly over bad acting and awkward elderly banter. *sigh* I will cross my fingers and pray to the gods that this one will be good.

Blogger police
Arrest this girl
She needs a bath
Controls like a freak
She needs another prozac

Blogger police
Arrest this girl
Her hitler attitude
Is making us feel ill
Why did she crash our party

This is what you get
When you mess with us....

Blogger police
Forget censoring
It's not enough...
It's not a democracy
But it's my blog, god damn iiiiitttttt

FUCK THE PO-LICE!!!

For a minute there, I lost myself.....

Sad to be back at the office after week long vacation....but proud to bear emblem of scariness at workplace. Am real supervisor, and underlings (aka former supervisors) are scampering away. Will not wallow in power.

Also in high spirits because figured out elusive Merman piano part late last night. Now only need to write out in proper form.

Am sad to also point out that two uglies do not a beautiful baby make. I need to find a diplomatic way to drop the hint that certain acquaintances should not breed. Maybe point out that there is no dearth of orphaned babies or reintroduce global warming and Malthusian arguments. As much as I try not to be judgmental, it's amazing how "love" blinds.

Rest assured my friends, I am not talking about you.

Munkeigh's blog on the abortion debate is excellent and a necessary read. She wrote a very well-thought out and moving argument.

My biggest problem with law is the lawyer/judge/legislators' need to rationalize and justify everything, but only within the scope of precedence and current societal standards. Mostly, these spirit of the law arguments are based on the righteousness or power struggles between religious or political groups. I know that's how many people believe life should be led. They should try at least once to think of these matters outside of religion and politics.

Who is really concerned with the act of abortion? It is someone 50 steps removed from the process trying to tell others what they should be doing or is it someone whose life is a hard enough for her to consider hurting an integral part of herself? Regardless of the "alternatives" to abortion, women still have to live through the discomfort and shame of 9 months of pregnancy knowing they will not keep the growing baby they are desperately trying not to bond with. Let's not forget the pain and possibility of death during childbirth. Most likely without the emotional or monetary support of the father of their child or their family. What do men have here at risk?

For those conservatives out there who wish to shrink and deregulate the government based on the opinion that people should be making their own decisions not the repressive government, why are these the same conservatives who insist on making decisions for society as a whole?

I just remembered a suppressed mini-dream I had last night....I was walking along the lamplit streets of old London and all of a sudden noticed that they were not lamps, but tall evergreens encircled by humongous bubble lights. As I walked past strangers, I saw their faces staring at me, aglow in light of the foot-long monstrosities. Very upsetting.

OK, I figured out my RESOLUTIONS FOR 2004:

--First and foremost...I will eat better and exercise more regularly. After this last week of gasp- and cough-inducing plague, I think that health is very very important.
--I will read more non-fiction books. I will no longer subconsciously avoid learning as a method to distant myself from law school pain.
--I will learn how to play the guitar.
--I will be more vigilant of what I express in my email messages. Spell check does not fix attitude and stupid jokes.
--I will try to be more social.
--I will curb my spending and debt. Must remember that retail therapy is evil.
--And last and hardest of all...I will try to be less angry and scary.

Happy, happy 2004!!

I still haven't come up with any viable resolutions, so I will put that off until later. Obviously, I've given up on procrastinating less.

Anywho, after last night's wild extravaganza with friends and one creepy guy (dolfinn's, that is), I have many views on the new year:

1. Must only party when healthy. Sickness sucks.
2. Pizza is pizza, no matter what order you put on the toppings.
3. Not all vegetarians like raw broccoli, especially on pizza.
4. My friends have a loose tie on reality and have control issues. I will not venture the downward spiral of megalomania.
5. Must avoid creepy men (surely, staring is symptom of greater issues).
6. Must not talk of sex in front of creepy men (intent staring is even creepier).
7. I need to expand my friends outside the "Buffy group."
8. Psychic cards are always fun.